The Rattle Of Bones

Every once in a while I hear the strangest sound. At first, I hardly noticed it. I might have even missed it a few times. But lately, either because my hearing has become more attuned or because I am beginning to suspect its origins, I hear it more often. There is a distinct clatter to the sound, but it is definitely muffled, too, as if buried not only by earth, but time as well.

The first time I noticed it was shortly after I decided to stay home when I had children and was treated like "the little wifey." Rattle-clunk. I heard it again when I was looked down upon by other women because of that decision. Rattle-clunk. And when I was told (told, mind you) that I was expected to work and pay my half of the expenses, it was more like RATTLE-CLUNK!!

It finally dawned on me what that sound was. Or, at least, what I think it was. And is. It's the sound of my grandmother's grandmother rolling over in her grave. The sound of very old bones wishing to rise in frustration and despair. It was never supposed to be like this.

Other women may not hear it so distinctly. But my great-great-grandmother was none other than Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony's mentor and co-founder of the suffragettes. And she was very clear on how she wanted to improve the lot of women.

I've read most of everything she wrote, as well as her biographies and family stories. I met her grand-daughter (briefly, just prior to her passing away), and was given a family jewel, which she had gotten while in China during the Boxer Rebellion. And most of what I've read convinces me: it was never supposed to be like this for women.

The entire purpose of the original women's movement was to raise the status of women in our culture, to recognize their value in their roles AS wives and mothers and to cherish their equal value in society. True, it was to give women the vote. Because women's ideas and opinions mattered just as much as mens'.

Instead, we got all the work. Now we not only have to take care of house and home, but pay all the bills, too. We're lucky if a man will pay child support after he leaves us for a younger/ prettier/wealthier woman. We're lucky if they cut the grass or take out the trash. And they still try to sing the same ol' song: "I worked all day!"

On top of that, women have become traitors to their own gender, themselves treating the role of housewife and mother with more disdain than their male counterparts, denouncing their own femininity and their own value in society in favor of male pandering. They're like the male-female version of the rather disparaging "Oreo cookie" slang of African-Americans that foresake their origins. In this case, it's female outside, male inside. They have children that they promptly hand over to strangers then they have the nerve to whine about how poorly these same children are turning out, as if it's some else's fault and despite them giving the children "everything." Everything, that is, except their own mother's love and attention.

True wives and mothers are, sadly, a dying breed. The problem is, they're also a cornerstone of society. Without them, children do not grow up with any values or respect. And without those, there is only anarchy.

Rattle-clunk. There she goes again.--mo